Tasha Lascut 1999-2009
After 10 years of fighting against three chronically diseases Tasha has passed away today, Sunday June 7, 2009 at 8:15 PM.
She fought till the end, even in her last 48 hours, as she was bleeding internally from numerous tumours that simply exploded Saturday morning.
The bleeding was found after x-rays. We then took her to the emergency hospital for a more detailed analysis including ultrasound. She was diagnosed this afternoon to be in a terminal, metastatic phase, with time to live till tomorrow.
She asked this morning to rest outside on the grass, in front of our house.
She was a free spirit from the moment we adopted her from Toronto Humane Society 10 years ago and she remained a free spirit till her last moments.
When she came into our house we promised to help her and remain at her side no matter what. Our last help was to keep her in our arms and let them take her pain away. We will know have to learn to live again, but without her.
We hope from our hearts that she finds greener pastures, wherever she goes.
Thank you Tasha for remaining at our side all your life.
Mike & Teo, this time without Tasha
Wherever I look I see signs of her. The yellow spot from the vitamin B on the carpet, her last poop droppings in the garden covered with empty flower cans so we know where they are. The new food in the fridge that she didn't get a chance to try it. Her dirty treats ball that she threw in the air so that treats come out. And many others.
And I still hear her coming at my door breathing heavily due to prednisone. That's her sign she wants to go out. No barking, no scratching, she would just wait patiently near my door until I hear her and I come out.
I hear her sitting on her preferred rug. In the warmer days the floor is cooler there. And she's just two meters from us. She hears us breathing so she knows all is well with the world.
I hear her whimper when I'm taking too long to wake up. She wants out again, or maybe she just wants to sleep near the bed, or maybe she's in pain and wants comforting.
In ten years she managed to fill our lives with her happiness while she became our puppy, our companion, our child. They say you shouldn't look at your puppy like a child – as she's just a dog.
But look into her eyes, and you'll see the moment when she trusts you completely. She trusts that you'll take care of her no matter what, that she can play freely around you where it is safe, that she can eat whatever you give her because you know what is good for her. And she trusts you to rub her belly so she can fall asleep near you.
You are now her entire world.
Looking back, it was like her deadline was ten years. She just celebrated ten years of age a few weeks ago. She raced against time and against all odds. But she never gave up. She achieved her goal and continued to fight even in her last moments.
We, not her, decided to stop her life, on reasons of humanity.
I try to understand this reasoning and I will try to accept it. It should be for her benefit and not for ours. It will take time to accept that I could have let her live a few more minutes. That I could give the go ahead a bit later. And let her be Tasha a bit more.
But she trusted us completely as she came to rest in our arms. All day she was carried to and between hospitals on a stretcher. She couldn't walk any longer for the past 24 hours. But amazingly she walked in her death room by herself with no help whatsoever. She walked in by herself pulling her IV tower and happy to see us. She came back to her pack and greeted us. She came in and she lay down between us. That was her last walk.
Do you think she knew she came to die?
Her head was in my hands as the doctor asked for confirmation. I said: whenever you can.
I felt her breathing stop after three seconds. I've seen her eyes when she died. She felt my smell till the last moment so I can fulfill my promise to her. She went away peacefully, thus ending a chapter in our life.
What more can I say…